Ms. Dazed

Recently, a dear friend of mine had an interesting encounter on social media with his boyfriends ex. A comment was made on an Instagram post, and with the use of social media, the ex boyfriend and current boyfriend were able to have a quick chat about what a certain devious male had been doing over the course of 11 months. Between tears and wine it has been confirmed that he was not only cheating on two boys, he was living an odd adaptation of a double life.. -I am still unsure how to classify such a betrayal of trust.

So I just want to kill him.

The most shocking of all these revelations was my friends reaction. Initially, he cried for 3 days, didn’t go to work and ate Ben & Jerry’s-the norm. But now he is looking to forgive the asshole, and I just cannot fathom it. I wasn’t apart of their relationship, I didn’t feel the love they ‘shared’, but I sense getting back together is an aim to keep up appearances, rather than reconnecting in their love.

And that brings me to the idea of loving someone visually for the need of gratification. I always thought the times of arranged marriages were over, but is society now the pressuring grandparents who believe to be most knowledgeable. No one ever asks, “is the love there?”, “will this love sustain you for 50 years?”, or “how does he make you feel (emotionally)?”. I can almost guarantee the real questions are along the lines of “what does he do for work?”, “What are the family like?” or “Does he always pay?”. Which has absolutely nothing to do with the foundation of their relationship, which should be the emotional connection they have.

Similarly, my housemate and I are both quite tall, and have strong views that the taller the boy the better, but what if the man who I would truly love the most is 5ft tall. Should we all try the idea of dating the opposite to your ideal, just say fuck you to all the social bullshit that clouds two people finding love. A common difficulty is ‘finding’ the perfect person, but how will you ever find them if you limit yourself to a certain demographic. Or even if you find them, will they be all you wanted or will you realise your ideal was completely off the mark.

But let’s not stress, just be open with your mind, or legs-If that what’s you’re in too.